Greeting Cards, Paula Abdul, and Al Gore

Hi! As well as being one of the top actresses for Fattened Calf, I also take care of our customers. If you need cards, I'm your girl!

More importantly, I am working to become an actress in Hollywood. I almost made it on American Idol last season but Paula was kinda jealous of my singing and convinced the other two to vote against me. Next year, though, I'm gonna roll a little different and sing one of Paula's old songs to try and impress her. Straight up now tell me...

Anyway, I just wanted to say "hey" since we'll be selling cards in July.

Oh wait! I wanted to tell you about my idea to solve global warming! Why not have the government pay for all electricity and then we turn the air conditioning way up and open our doors. We could also leave our fridges and freezers open! Seriously, we could even put some giant freezers outside to cool the earth off.

Honestly I can't figure out why Al Gore didn't think of it. Do you think he's smarter when he's skinny. He was kind of dumber when he had the beard and was chunky. Now he's talking smarter after dropping the pounds. Anyway what was I talking about?